Category: Lifeline

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”

“Step Four.  It is the beginning of a lifetime practice in gaining a meaningful perspective or yourself.” So counseled the Sponsor to his Sponsee as they shared a hefty piece of apple pie alamode at Fellowship Hall.

SPONSEE: Yeah.  But what’s in it for me?  After all, I have gone to ninety meetings in ninety days.  Why an Inventory?

SPONSOR: Your inventory, a searching and fearless one, will give you the confidence to face yourself and your demons.

SPONSEE: I’m sober.  I’m smart.  In fact, I am walkin’ piece of art.

SPONSOR:(To the waitress.)  “Another round of apple pie alamode, for my friend here. I think we are going to be here awhile.”

SPONSEE: (Thinking to himself.)  “This guy is so slow on the uptake.

SPONSOR: I used to think that I lived a pretty good life before old John Barleycorn cut me down. I honestly felt that the good man I thought I was would reappear the moment I swore off the “sauce.” No inventory needed for me, so I thought.

SPONSEE: That is just how I feel.

SPONSOR: Now I have come to realize that my problems were of my own making.  I have come to learn that my alcoholism was a mere product of my self-centered behaviors.  I could never get enough of what I really wanted: more this and more that… especially more approval. And “MORE” was never enough. I was encumbered with the disease of “MORE.”  It left me empty.

SPONSEE: You mean to say that you needed a real brain flossing?

SPONSOR: I hope you can learn from the research I have already done for you.  But perhaps another round of incomprehensible demoralization is in your future.

SPONSEE: I have ninety days with ninety meetings under my belt.  Can’t we just skip Steps Four and Five?

SPONSOR: Not on your life, and it is your life that we are dealing with.

SPONSEE: Okay, I get it.

SPONSOR: And I hope you do get it, or you are going to get got by this cunning, baffling and powerful disease.

SPONSEE: What an order.  I cannot go through with it.

SPONSOR: Do not be discouraged.  You are not the first recovering drunk in search of a miracle.  Just suit up, show up and the miracle will find you.

SPONSEE: So when do we get started on Step Four? What do you expect that we will learn?

SPONSOR: I expect that we will learn that your drinking was the product of your self-centered and grandiose thinking.

SPONSEE: I am good with what you say.  Anything else?  A third piece of pie alamode perhaps? (“Geeze this guy can pack it away).

SPONSOR: When you become willing to do a thorough Fourth Step, you will find that it will bring you both sobriety and the joy of knowing you are living a life to a good and useful purpose.  That is the miracle.  And this miracle continues to happen each day as we continue to trudge down this road of happy destiny together. And let’s do it together.

 

~ Sugarhouse Men’s Group
3280 East 3900 South, Salt Lake City
Mondays & Fridays 8:15pm

 

 

“I made the decision to turn my life and will over to the care of God as I understand Him.”

Since 1969 I have gone to church, meditated, prayed, read book after book trying to learn how to surrender, to rid myself of my ever present ego.  My ego fought me tooth and nail. I wanted to switch the light of surrender on and be done with it.  Pretty much like I did with booze.  The key here was I was to make it happen and the surrender was to meet my expecta-tions.

This was one of the greatest contradictions of my life, I need to completely control my environment.  This need is of course based in self-centered fear. If I weren’t in charge the flood gates of terror would overwhelm me as I justly deserved. The irony is that I would sit in a gin mill and lose complete control of my body, mind and eventually my life as I continued to drink.  So the idea of   letting go scared me to my core. Then I read a Taoist wisdom “I do nothing and nothing is left undone”.  I didn’t understand.  The years past and I continued advanced in the Steps.  Slowly, most of the time without knowing it, I changed.  Mistake after mistake gave me the chance to ask for and rely on this Power. My mind began to open and my faith deepened and I saw things differ-ently.  As a NYC cop I thought courage was facing the “bad guy” who had a gun or knife. That may have been physical courage but the program calls for a moral or better still a spiritual bravery that asks for me to go “all in”.  To become defenseless and know that I am safe.  What a rush.

Mother Theresa once said that a true miracle was to do the ordinary extraordinary well.  The “do nothing” was to do those things that were in front of my face and do them mindfully.  Letting go of the outcomes, the success, or failure of daily life.  I had to learn how to trust that this Power had my back.  There was no sudden anything here, it was taking the risk that if I lived by the principles of the Steps I could live a joyful and productive existence. Now in my old age I can look back over the last three quarters of my life and see how well this has turned out.  My family loves me, I volunteer both within and without the program.  When my wife was dying I was able to be the husband and father that I only fantasied about.

There is no part of my life I would be ashamed of if it were published in tomorrow’s paper, old age may have something to do with that.  But mostly I am sober and at peace.  In a novel I read, one character says to another, “how do you know if you have learned your lessons?  His mentor replies “If you are alive you haven’t”.  I still have “miles to go” and when this life ends I still will be safe.

 

~ The New Yorker
Fridays 6:40am
Market Street Grill, SLC

I have discovered that our literature is the best resource for describing aspects of our program and so I have quoted from one of our pamphlets – The Twelve Concepts for World Service Concept III states: “As a traditional means of creating and maintaining a clearly defined working relation between the groups, the Conference, the A.A. General Service Board and its several service corporations, staffs, committees, and executives, and of thus ensuring their effective leadership, it is here suggested that we endow each of these elements of world service with a traditional “Right of Decision.”

“Every trusted servant and every A.A. entity – at all levels of service – has the right “to decide how they will interpret and apply their own authority and responsibility to each particular problem or situation as it arises.” That is, they can “decide which problems they will dispose of themselves and upon which matters they will report, consult, or ask specific directions.” This is “the essence of ‘The right of Decision.’” The above taken from the Pamphlet ‘The Twelve Concepts for World Service.’

If you are wondering how Concept III applies, I will share some personal experience. Last year our delegate, Keith M., invited a group of trusted servants to a committee meeting to help him decide which of the 90 plus General Service Conference agenda items might be the best for our area to discuss and report back to him about. Keith used his “Right of Decision” to form and consult with this committee and to ask for specific directions from this committee on the Conference agenda items. The results were shared with the area during reports at the Pre-conference Assembly last year and subsequently with the General Service Conference through our delegate. Keith is doing the same this year.

Another example of the Concept III in action is through your Home Group. Your group, through its member’s, exercises it “Right of Decision” is dozens of ways. From deciding the format of your meeting, including what literature or preambles you might read to the distribution of your groups 7th Tradition funds. Both of these example demonstrate the spiritual principle of Concept III, that of Mutual Trust.” The freedom to decide and to act relies on the concept and practice of Trust.

“Bill warns against using “The Right of Decision” as an excuse for failure to make the proper reports for actions taken; or for exceeding clearly defined authority; or for failing to consult the proper people before making an important decision. But he concluded: “Our entire A.A. program rests squarely upon the principle of mutual trust. We trust God, we trust A.A., and we trust each other.”

If you would like to witness more of Concept III in action, attend your Home Group business meeting, District meeting or Area 69 Assemblies. If you would like to learn more about the Concepts themselves, get a copy of The A.A. Service Manual combined with The Twelve Concepts for World Service. “It is one of the best kept secrets in A.A.”  Quote from Robert B., District 2.

~ Monte S.
Ogden, UT

The only requirement for A.A. membership is a desire to stop drinking

What does this really mean and how do you know if the potential member really has a desire to stop drinking?

Over the years, I heard stories about the good old days when new A.A. members were interviewed to determine if they were truly alcoholic.  Before A.A., the alcoholic choices were institutions, jails, and death.  So, why not allow anyone who wanted this recovery program to have it?  From the A.A. literature and attending A.A. meeting over the years, I deduce that the main motive was fear.  They were afraid that if the A.A. recovery program went away so would their new lives, which means that they would be face again with institutions, jails, and death.
During my early years of sobriety, I did not care about who was in the rooms of A.A.  Now, I understand that if A.A. does not survive, I may not survive.  In A.A. meetings, I heard people introduce themselves as drug addicts, sex addicts, and what not.  So are they alcoholics who want to show everyone that they are better than those who introduce themselves as alcoholics?  I believe this is true for some.  These alcoholics are in danger of losing their new way of living that they so desperately want and I wonder why.  Again, I believe it is simply fear.

If the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking, how do you know if a member has a desire to stop drinking?  My theory is that when someone says that they are an alcoholic in an A.A. meeting they have a desire to stop drinking.  Anything else shows a lack of respect for the A.A. recovery program.  Today when I hear someone say that A.A. has saved their life and then introduced themselves as something other than alcoholic, I feel that they have slapped the face of A.A.

Love and Tolerance is our code, so all are welcome.  However, we ask those non alcoholics attending our meeting to respect A.A by attending only open meeting and not sharing so the alcoholic can have the opportunity to recovery by sharing.

~ Walter C.
Stansbury Park, UT

When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous in 1983, I wondered, sometimes aloud, why didn’t someone “take over.”  The process of group conscience seemed ponderous and some members seemed not astute enough to make the “right” decisions.  I was told by my sponsor that in the group conscience our ultimate authority, God, speaks and that we trust that that loving God’s Will takes us in the right direction.  Needless to say, I was sure she didn’t mean what she said.  I was sure that secretly the “wise” and “educated” members met and took the group where it needed to go.  I was wrong.

In group conscience we listen to the least educated with as much attention as we do to the most educated.  We weigh the opinion of the youngest member with as much regard as we do the longest sober member.  We consider the opinion of the minority view and many times we change the direction of the group because we had never considered the merits of the obscure view having been expressed by the only “nay” when given the opportunity to tell us why she voted “nay.”

Tradition Two leads me to “trust God” in all things undertaken by the Fellowship.  Many times over the past twenty-eight years, I’ve questioned “group conscience” only to find that in the end the decision made was the best direction for all.  That is the beauty of “group conscience,” it is God’s voice telling us what is best for all of us, not just some of us.  Each group is a fellowship of equals.  No matter what an individual member’s background, education or professional expertise, no member has authority over the group.  In this way, the Fellowship reaches out to all who would seek its comfort and provides the atmosphere of a sense of belonging to all members.

My sponsor gave me a copy of a series of articles on the Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous that appeared in the Grapevine in 1969.  The questions were intended for the individual’s use.  Many groups, however, use them as a basis for their discussion topic as they study the Traditions.  My sponsor gave them to me in an effort to help me find enough humility to be of service to our group.  Some of the questions pertaining to Tradition Two are:

1.  Do I criticize or do I trust and support my group officers, AA committees, New comers?  Old-timers?
2.  Am I absolutely trustworthy, even in secret, with AA Twelfth Step jobs or other AA responsibility?
3.  Do I look for credit in my AA jobs?  Praise for my AA ideas?
4.  Do I have to save face in group discussion or can I yield in good spirit to the group conscience and work cheerfully along with it?
5.  Although I have been sober a few years, am I still willing to serve my turn at AA chores?
6.  In group discussions, do I sound off about matters on which I have no experience and little knowledge?

I am constantly amazed that the lessons of early sobriety and the direction of a sponsor who did not seem wise at the time, still serve as the basis of a happy, joyous and free sober life.

Betty H.

Step two, “came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

The compulsion to drink for me was not the only “Merciless obses-sion” that came to compel me in my insanity of alcoholism. Having had lost faith in the God I had come to perceive as punitive, wrathful and vindictive. At first I was torn and highly threatened when told “it was highly suggest-ed” I would probably want to en-list the help of a Power greater than my admitted powerlessness. Because the idea that I could choose my own concept of that Power was as of yet foreign to me, although appealing, however I was still fearful. I began witnessing in the Fellowship, those that did rely heavily on a Higher Power (God) seemed to be living healthier, hap-pier lives, compared to those who struggled and even rebelled against this concept.

The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous was teaching me to cease fighting everyone and every-thing. One day in my early morn-ing home group as it was our habit to read from the wall the 12 tradi-tions the phrase “ . . . A loving God as he may express himself in our group conscience” leaped from that wall into my mind, but most of all into my heart. I decided then and there I would try to cultivate a conscious contact with that Love. In doing that I was handed another spiritual tool of the AA program, not the least of which are “prayer and meditation”. Also I found that my outlook and attitude about others was changing to seeking to be of service as I trusted more and more in that Loving Presence, whom I choose to call the “God of Love”. As I have began to see others as more loving I become aware of my own feelings of love. I “no longer live in a hostile world”, I no longer felt the compulsion (insanity) to drink.

My Higher Power, “a Loving God”, can restore me to what I once believed to be irrevocably lost – my sanity and serenity. I have a program to practice (and yes, it is a work in progress) with the loving help of my Higher Power, who is restoring me to mental, emotional, and spiritual health and well-being, one day at a time. For this I am grateful enough not to pick up that first drink, also one day at a time. Oh and I am much happier . . . And that I choose to call sanity . . . True serenity.

“Perhaps there is a better way – we think so. For we are now on a dif-ferent basis; the basis of trusting and relying upon God. We trust infinite God rather than our finite selves. We are in the world to play the role He assigns. Just to the ex-tent that we do as we think He would have us, and humbly rely on Him, does He enable us to match calamity with serenity.” Alcoholics Anonymous page 68

~ The New Yorker
Fridays 6:40am
Market Street Grill, SLC