Author: webservant

Step Eight – “the beginning of the end of isolation.”  For this alcoholic, this was the adventure step. This was the step that would build “the best possible relations with every human being….”

When my sponsor “suggested” that I create a Step Eight list, I thought “no problem for me.”  As a trial attorney I made a good living at making lists:  Lists of witnesses’ lists of facts; lists of exhibits. Step Eight, so I thought, would be a “no brainer” rest stop located somewhere between Step Seven and Step Nine where I could kick back and go on cruise control.

As is usually the case, I was blindsided with a “two by four” reality moment while attending the Monday night Step Study meeting of the Men’s Sugarhouse Group. It was pointed out by one of the old timers (Stan H.) that we make a list of “all persons we had harmed” and be “willing to make amends to them all.”  That meant that I was not going to get by making a list of “selected” people of my own choosing. The wreckage of my past had already set the agenda. I just needed to be willing to put those who I harmed down on a list. A tall order for this alcoholic.

“What an order”, I thought.  “I cannot go through with it.” But in my reading of Doctor Bob’s Nightmare I came to realize that Step Eight was a necessary adventure that I would have to “thoroughly” take if I wanted to live a sober, happy and useful life.

What did my sponsor say?  “Do not be discouraged.”  You have all the resources you need at your disposal:  God (as you may understand Him), the Big Book, the Twelve and Twelve, a sober sponsor who believes in attending meetings, and the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. Little did I know, that I had at my disposal the best of the best tools for one’s sobriety tool box.

This making a list of “all persons” I had harmed would require me to list Uncle Sam, and my law firm.  As an attorney of some experience, I did not use a gun or knife to harm others. Worse, I betrayed the trust of others and sacrificed my integrity which itself faded as my alcoholism progressed.

Before launching into my new Step Eight adventure I consulted with my wife of then twenty plus years with respect to the Uncle Sam and law firm amends.  After a year of sober deliberation my wife and I made one of our best decisions: I made my amends to Uncle Sam and my law firm.  Those amends led, predictably, to the loss of my job and sanctions from the Bar Association which suspended my license to practice law for a time. I lost my job.  We lost the house, a lot of money and a lot of other “stuff.”  But the family stayed together and a stayed sober.

I worked as a law clerk for several attorneys, some of whom I had previously hired or mentored. What started as a forced feeding of humble pie resulted in a feast of gratitude. With the help and care of God, my sponsor (Woody W.) the A.A. Fellowship and many lawyers and judges, I became a lawyer in good standing.

Today I am a member of a law firm which seems to be a better fit. My wife is the firm receptionist.  We have stayed married for forty four years and continue to learn, love and laugh together.  She is my best friend. My son is one my partners.  I also have a daughter who is, in her own right, a very accomplished attorney. Together we take on the representation of several clients each year who cannot otherwise afford to pay for legal services. So far, we are having a most rewarding experience. How good is that?

I wish good luck and God speed to all as you continue the Step Eight Adventure. Pick up the tools in your sobriety tool box.  As my sponsor would tell you: “Suit up, show up and keep your eyes open for the next miracle to come your way.”

~ Sugarhouse Men’s Group
3280 East 3900 South, Salt Lake City
Mondays & Fridays 8:15pm

I got active in Public Information to give myself something to do other than be self-absorbed. I was welcomed at the District, PI hadn’t been active there for a while. I read the workbook and chose the tasks that didn’t seem too complicated or inconvenient. I began taking literature to hospital emergency rooms, asking the charge nurse where I could leave AA literature. I was always welcomed and felt AA was well received. I began to have a sense of usefulness.

I started talking about my experiences to people, home group members, sponsees, anyone I thought might find it interesting, and hopefully, inspiring. I’m still puzzled that this arm of our service is so unpopular.

A new sponsee was listening to me go on about how useful I felt when I delivered literature, how it’s impossible to guess how many lives could be changed by this work. She rolled her eyes and said, “How hard can this be? Give me a packet and I’ll drop it off at the hospital.” I gave her some pamphlets and explained how to approach the desk, what I said and where I left the literature. I asked her to call me after she delivered it.

Later that evening, I got a call. She said, “Oh my God. I can’t believe what happened. I went in like you said, went to the charge nurse, asked her where to leave the literature, she told me, I put it down and walked out the door. Once outside, I burst into tears. I realized I might have just saved someone’s life.”

It’s impossible to guess how many lives are affected by the simple act of leaving an AA pamphlet in a public place. It’s not so impossible to guess what happens for those who do the work. If only one person gets to experience the freedom from the bondage of self as I have as the result of carrying our message through Public Information, I would consider that a great success. If no one else but me has that experience, I would consider that a great blessing.

~ Wendy W.

“I don’t know what your destiny will be, but one thing I know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve.”   -Albert Schweitzer

Volunteer service opportunities exist that match up with any skill set and time schedule a member may have.  As a volunteer in service I can experience benefits that I don’t know exist until I discover them as I do the job!

Our Twelfth Step is the basic service that AA’s Fellowship gives; this is our principal aim and the main reason I am in service.  Therefore, an AA service is anything that helps us to reach a fellow sufferer ranging all the way from the 12th Step itself to a phone call and a cup of coffee or at AA Central Office to keep the phones answered and the schedules flying off the shelf.  The sum total of all these services is our Third Legacy.

Service work is a vital part of A.A. life.  In A.A. we call it service, the rest of the world calls it “volunteerism.”  Volunteerism is as American as apple pie.  In the earliest days we had barn raisings and quilting bees in which we helped others get what they needed.

When I was growing up each member of our family of five children was expected to “help others.”  It was called “noblesse oblige,” which meant that those who have much must help those who have less.  Pretty much like A.A. – those of us who have benefitted by the service of others are expected to “pay it forward.”  Truly a small price for the gift I have received!

The volunteerism I did as a child taught me to look beyond myself and understand my place in the community.  Today the service I do in A.A.  is a meaningful activity that enhances my sobriety.  I can’t imagine a life without it!
My history of volunteerism and my training in an A. A. service based life brought me to Central Office and the attempt to run the office on a strictly volunteer basis.  Many believed it could not be done, but we have been doing it for six months now and it is working just fine.  I knew it could be done because of a life of volunteerism.  I’ve witnessed volunteers turn negatives into positives.  I’ve seen timid folks turn into confident folks just from the work they have done in service.

The question I am asked often is how did we change Central Office to what it is today.  The answer is simple.  My experience with volunteerism and the call to service in Alcoholics Anonymous taught me that all things are possible if I simply say “yes” to life!   So, enough A.A. members said “yes” to volunteering at Central Office to keep it staffed six days a week and I told them that volunteers are cheerful folks who believe all things are possible.  I told them that our job is to give service to all who call us and if we can’t help a caller, we find someone who can.  The volunteers are encouraged to be positive in all dealings with the public, to treat everyone as we would like to be treated and to help each customer to know that they are valuable and important to us.
I think we have turned Central Office into a place that folks are happy to visit.  Our clients sometimes stay quite some time after their purchases are made and information received.  Some even sign up to volunteer for a couple of hours each week.

All things are possible when we band together in service.  Come volunteer at Central Office.  Make a difference and be part of an endeavor greater than ourselves:  carrying the message!

~ Betty H.

In the time and place I grew up alcohol was widely accepted. Having watched my family struggle with their addictions, I began to set boundaries believing this would protect me from suffering like them.  As time passed and the disease took hold these boundaries got in the way of my drinking. So one by one they were dismissed until I had become indistinguishable from them. I was no longer a free man.

There came a time when the pain of being was so great I romanced ideas of ending it all. Thanks to God I was unable to seal the deal. So my intent was to go on to the bitter end. Another scrape with the law brought me to a professional treatment program. There and in the days to follow I experienced a small respite from my misery. My problem at that time was I had found no spiritual remedy. So the relief was short lived. I, being a real alcoholic drank again. In the days and years that followed, there was more treatment, failure and desperation than I thought I could endure.

Then whether through divine intervention or happenstance I landed in a meeting of alcoholics anonymous. In that room I heard that there was a solution. It was carried with such conviction I believed it wholeheartedly. I did what was suggested and after a period I found peace. The regret, remorse and hopelessness lessened. I began to live instead of endure life. I began to walk the way only a free man can.
I made choices being newly sober that made my journey difficult. 3 career changes and I became a father for the second time. My son was 3 days old when I assumed sole custody. At this time my daughter who lived with me as well was fifteen. The role of single parent was a tough adjustment.   Just over a year sober and still unsettled emotionally, financially and spiritually. I had doubled my responsibility and halved my income. In the following years we cried, laughed and lived. By Gods grace we made it through.

Each day without a drink has been a gift. Some days are like the sweater with the reindeer on it your aunt gives you each year. Some are like waking up Christmas morning to that yellow stingray you have been wanting for so long. Yet they are all gifts Two Thousand One hundred and Eighty Nine so far.

I never dreamed this would work for me. I felt that A.A. would be just another failed attempt to curb my drinking problem. Today I have a life that is rich and full, but absolutely not what I expected 6 years of sobriety to look like. Which I am sure is a good thing for after all I have heard my thinking is suspect. Today I have faith in God, the program and fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. I have a host of friends and place to call home.

J.S. ~ Salt Lake City

“The Conference recognizes that the Charter and the Bylaws of the General Service Board are legal instruments: that the Trustees are thereby fully empowered to manage and conduct all of the world service affairs of Alcoholics Anonymous. It is further understood that the Conference Charter itself is not a legal document: that it relies instead upon the force of tradition and the power of the A.A. purse for its final effectiveness.”    

Although it appears to be contradictory, Concept VII provides for a “Balance of Power” between the General Service Board and the General Service Conference.

In 1950, when the Conference Charter was drawn, there was a question of where the final authority ought to rest. Would the Conference have the last word, or would the Trustees? After considering many options, our present Conference Charter was developed. This structure clearly gives the Conference a final and ultimate authority but which nevertheless legally preserves the right of the Trustees to function freely and adequately, just as any board of directors must. This means that the practical power of the Conference will nearly always be superior to the legal power of the Trustees.

Up to now, experience has shown this balance of powers between the Trustees and the Conference is thoroughly workable.  We have taken great pains to reserve final authority to the Conference by practical and traditional means. By legal means we have delegated functional and discretionary authority to the Trustees. We believe this balance can be maintained indefinitely, because the one is protected by tradition and the other by law.

Interestingly, when the Conference forwards a directive to the Trustees, the Trustees have the legal right to say ‘no’ to anything and everything the Conference wants.  The Board of Trustees has veto power over any Conference action. This is legally necessary and right in principle, even though the veto will seldom if ever be used.

Concept VII provides three examples in which the Trustees should and could veto Conference action.

1. If the Conference should take an action or issue a directive to the Trustees in clear violation of its own Charter, or that of the General Service Board; or if the Conference were to pass any measure so ill-considered or so reckless as to seriously injure, in the judgment of the Trustees, A.A’s public relations or A.A. as a whole, it would then be the duty of the Trustees to ask for a Conference reconsideration. If the Conference refused to reconsider, the Trustees could then use their legal right of veto.

2. Traditionally the Trustees never should substantially exceed a Conference-approved budget without consulting the Conference, they should feel entirely free to reduce the Conference budget figure during any fiscal year, even though such an action might curtail or cancel special plans or projects initiated and directed by the Conference itself.

3. If, by reason of unforeseen conditions, any particular plan, project or directive of the Conference should become impractical or unworkable during a fiscal year, the Trustees should without prejudice, be able to use their right of veto and cancellation.

It was our experience as a Panel 51 Delegate and as a Panel 55 Delegate that the influence of Concept VII, that being a respect for the “Balance of Power” between the Conference members and the Trustees, allowed us as Trusted Servants of the Fellowship to see grave issues resolved during our terms, with the spirit of harmonious cooperation our general rule.

Mike & Shirley O.

There are so many benefits to this tradition for the alcoholic and for the group and for all AA as a whole. When we first come into AA we were at a bottom — nothing was working for us. Many did not have a job or a place to stay, but most could still find the money for the next drink. We surrendered to the fact that we could no longer drink, because of the price it required of us, and that wasn’t money.

So slowly we put in a basket what little we had and began to acquire a life worth living. It made us responsible for the first time (for many of us) to become a part of taking care of ourselves. The first part of Tradition 7 makes it clear that responsibility extends to the members of each local group as it passes the basket for contributions to pay the rent and maintain its literature library.

The second part of this tradition addresses the issue of the fellowship not becoming involved with outside issues or conflicts that could arise by accepting “outside contributions.” If such contributions were accepted the group and its members might feel obligated to make some kind of concessions to the individual or organization making the donation. Declining these contributions keeps the fellowship independent from outside influences.

Tradition 7 (Long Form)

The A.A. groups themselves ought to be fully supported by the voluntary contributions of their own members. We think that each group should soon achieve this ideal; that any public solicitation of funds using the name of Alcoholics Anonymous is highly dangerous, whether by groups, clubs, hospitals, or other outside agencies; that acceptance of large gifts from any source, or of contributions carrying any obligation whatever, is unwise. Then too, we view with much concern those A.A. treasuries which continue, beyond prudent reserves, to accumulate funds for no stated A.A. purpose. Experience has often warned us that nothing can so surely destroy our spiritual heritage as futile disputes over property, money, and authority.

My wise and dedicated counselor in rehab insisted that when I returned home I find a Big Book Study and a 12 Step Study and to attend them regularly.  I followed her terrific advise and I suggest it to others.  My home group is the 5:15 Happy Hour and each Tuesday we read from the Big Book and each Thursday we read a Step or Tradition.

Frequently when studying and discussing a step, we in A.A. focus on a single word or phrase.  I always find this a good starting point.   Recently at the 5:15, when discussing Step Seven, we did just that.  After reading the chapter, we focused on the word, “Humbly.”  It can be nice to agree on or establish a shared definition of the important word.  How often have we heard an earnest and sincere class valedictorian use the phrase, “according to Webster’s Dictionary . . . ?”  Definitions bring clarity.

Searching for synonyms can also increase understanding and promote discussion.  Some synonyms for humbly would be; sincerely, honestly, fearlessly, boldly, carefully, precisely, appropriately, openly, completely and without shame.  Clearly, any one of these words is an important part of any understanding of the Seventh Step concept of humbly.  Such descriptions can help us to focus and stay on task while working on a step.

At our recent meeting, we chose a third way to start our step study.  We discussed what humility was not, rather than what it was.  We shared that humility was not selfish nor self-seeking.  It seems that to achieve some kind of humility, we had to put the overriding preoccupation with our own self-survival aside and allow concern for things and persons outside of ourselves to be of greater importance.  Self-seeking leads to such a lack of concern for others that it makes isolation the only possible result.  I hope to never return to that lonely place of isolation.

We also learn that selfishness is the polar opposite of service.  My sobriety brought a renewed sense of the immeasurable value of service to others.  Putting aside our own egos can give us an unexpected clarity of vision and perhaps the discovery of a path that had otherwise gone unnoticed.
It is such a humility, a stepping beyond self, that makes us ready to approach God as required by the step, asking God to remove our shortcomings.  There is no room for God’s presence within us when we are already full of ourselves.  God needs some space to accomplish God’s will for us.  What a relief I felt when I finally looked away from me and looked more actively toward God.  God can do for me what I cannot do alone.

Being aware of the connections between service to others, avoidance of selfishness, and trust in God has helped me each day as I try to be actively involved in this program of recovery.  I have also remembered to make this idea part of daily prayer and reflection each morning as I ask “How will I give God more room today, and how will I be of greater service to others?”

Perhaps the next time we study this step, our focus will be on “Shortcomings.”

~ 5:15 Happy Hour
615 South 300 East
Community Center Room 134

Bob P. (1917-2008) was General Manager of the General Service Office from 1974 to 1984, and then served as Senior Advisor to the G.S.O. from 1985 until his retirement. His story is in the Big Book as “AA Taught Him to Handle Sobriety,” 3rd edit. (1976) pp. 554-561, 4th edit. (2001) pp. 553-559.

During the 1986 General Service Conference, Bob gave a powerful and inspiring closing talk to the conference at the closing brunch on Saturday morning, April 26. It was an especially significant occasion, because he knew that he was going to retire early the next year, and that this would be his last General Service Conference. The following excerpts are taken from that farewell speech, as published in the Conference’s final report:  The Thirty-Sixth Annual Meeting of the General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous 1986 (Roosevelt Hotel, New York City, April 20-26, 1986), Final Report.
This is my 18th General Service Conference — the first two as a director of the Grapevine and A.A.W.S., followed by four as a general service trustee. In 1972, I rotated out completely, only to be called back two years later as general manager of G.S.O., the service job I held until late 1984. Since the 1985 International Convention, of course, I have been senior adviser. This is also my last Conference, so this is an emotionally charged experience.

I wish I had time to express my thanks to everyone to whom I am indebted for my sobriety and for the joyous life with which I have been blessed for the past nearly 25 years. But since this is obviously impossible, I will fall back on the Arab saying that Bill quoted in his last message, “I thank you for your lives.” For without your lives, I most certainly would have no life at all, much less the incredibly rich life I have enjoyed.

Let me offer my thoughts about A.A.’s future. I have no truck with those bleeding deacons who decry every change and view the state of the Fellowship with pessimism and alarm. On the contrary, from my nearly quarter-century’s perspective, I see A.A. as larger, healthier, more dynamic, faster growing, more global, more service-minded, more back-to-basics, and more spiritual — by far — than when I came through the doors of my first meeting in Greenwich, Connecticut, just one year after the famous [July 1960] Long Beach Convention. A.A. has flourished beyond the wildest dreams of founding members, though perhaps not of Bill himself, for he was truly visionary.

I echo those who feel that if this Fellowship ever falters or fails, it will not be because of any outside cause. No, it will not be because of treatment centers or professionals in the field, or non-Conference-approved literature, or young people, or the dually-addicted, or even the “druggies” trying to come to our closed meetings. If we stick close to our Traditions, Concepts, and Warranties, and if we keep an open mind and an open heart, we can deal with these and any other problems that we have or ever will have. If we ever falter and fail, it will be simply because of us. It will be because we can’t control our own egos or get along well enough with each other. It will be because we have too much fear and rigidity and not enough trust and common sense.

If you were to ask me what is the greatest danger facing A.A. today, I would have to answer: the growing rigidity — the increasing demand for absolute answers to nit-picking questions; pressure for G.S.O. to “enforce” our Traditions; screening alcoholics at closed meetings; prohibiting non-Conference-approved literature, i.e., “banning books”; laying more and more rules on groups and members. And in this trend toward rigidity, we are drifting farther and farther away from our co- founders. Bill, in particular, must be spinning in his grave, for he was perhaps the most permissive person I ever met. One of his favorite sayings was, “Every group has the right to be wrong.” He was maddeningly tolerant of his critics, and he had absolute faith that faults in A.A. were self-correcting.

And I believe this, too, so in the final analysis we’re not going to fall apart. We won’t falter or fail. At the 1970 International Convention in Miami, I was in the audience on that Sunday morning when Bill made his brief last public appearance. He was too ill to take his scheduled part in any other convention event, but now, unannounced, on Sunday morning, he was wheeled up from the back of the stage in a wheelchair, attached with tubes to an oxygen tank. Wearing a ridiculous bright-orange, host committee blazer, he heaved his angular body to his feet and grasped the podium — and all pandemonium broke loose. I thought the thunderous applause and cheering would never stop, tears streaming down every cheek. Finally, in a firm voice, like his old self, Bill spoke a few gracious sentences about the huge crowd, the outpouring of love, and the many overseas members there, ending (as I remember) with these words: “As I look over this crowd, I know that Alcoholics Anonymous will live a thousand years — if it is God’s will.”