Author: webservant

Sobriety and mindfulness are cathartic and healing. I can just breathe and watch the universe unfold. This has healed any illness I have had. Mindfulness is a blessing in my sobriety. According to Jon Kabat Zen the word mindfulness is derived from medicine. As Saki Santorelli said regarding healing thyself: “Look at the bandaged spot, and let the light in; the light comes not from without but from within.” The two requirements of Step Three in the Big Book are that no human power can relieve my alcoholism, and I am not God. If I just do the footwork and Let Go & Let God, I can pay attention, not perseverate, not beat up on myself, or even think. I had three alcoholic grandparents and two functional alcoholic parents who were obsessive-compulsive atheist controllers. I was taught to be an alcoholic. By 1997 I had found a Higher Power within and met my husband at a prayer circle group at a church but was a social drinker not bitten by the disease yet. I had knocked off my drinking in my twenties and didn’t realize until 2004 that I had an allergy to alcohol; it makes me mentally ill, and I started to crave it. Working the steps in the AA Program eight times and step work in Al anon three times and finally adult child step work has been healing me like the un-peeling of layers of an onion. Now I can finally rest with my Higher Power and watch the show. As the “Just for Today” Al anon Bookmark comments: “Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not adjust myself to my own desires. I can take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.” I am walking with my Higher Power. As the AA 10th Step Promises State: “And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If temped, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.” As the 11th Step States on page 87 of the Big Book: “We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.” This is how I came to believe, pay attention, and heal today.

Patricia N.

When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was completely naive to the ways of the program and was very broken by alcohol. I knew of AA and thought, I have no where else to go, these folks know more than I do about Alcohol…it’s in the name. I attended my first Quarterly business meeting after being in and out of the program for 6 months. During that 6 months, I heard about service and I was ready to listen. I took up a coffee position and was so nervous I was going to screw it up, I barely slept the night before. I was taking the whole thing very seriously. So at the first business meeting, I wanted to observe and find out how the “real” business of how the group functioned and how it worked was important to me. I also wanted to figure out who was “in charge”. Like I said, I was still new. I watched, I listened, I learned and found out slowly about the different long-term service positions and how they worked together. I continued to do coffee and eventually was brave enough to step up to a chairperson position. Again, no sleep the night before and worried I would make a mistake. People are counting on me and this is life or death…very serious. After awhile, I settled down and the man who kept the group phone list named Ed, was moving away. I offered to help maintain the list. Turns out the man was the secretary of the group and I got elected to secretary of the Wake Up Call in Park City the very next business meeting. People actually voted me in! I was happy to be of service and yet, had no clue what I was doing. “Don’t they have training for this sort of thing – I’m totally unqualified!!!” My next thought was at the other end of the spectrum: “Stand back and let me show you all how this meeting should be run!”. Yes, I know…keep coming back. After many reassurances from my sponsor and the elder statesman, I’ve relaxed A LOT. I turned to the tribal knowledge of the group, explored AA literature on how to run a group and approached the task with a heightened sense of responsibility – instead of panic or pride. Today, I’ve been conducting and chairing the quarterly business meetings, spontaneous group conscious meetings and documenting the Wake Up Call business for almost two years. I had come from a place of no knowledge, fear, more fear and it’s good friend, anxiety… to one of curiosity, willingness and openness to suggestion. The group consciousness is a powerful force and one I am proud and honored to call to order as often as needed with the bang of a gavel.  

-Anne A

-The following is taken from a recorded conversation with Pine J about his volunteer work out at the Utah State Prison.

“In volunteering at the Utah State Prison, the reason that it’s been so rewarding to my sobriety is because men that are in prison now are coming into our classes, into our AA class, and not only reading the big book, but they read the big book on a daily and on a weekly basis. Because of our meetings, we have explained to them that all it takes, when they go back to their pods, is for them and a couple more guys to start sharing with each other about their experience, strengths and hopes. Once the prisoners started doing that, in our classes we would give them the choice to either share as they read or at the end of class. The AA program out there is…grows every week, as prisoners find out about it, it has become something that they even miss their softball practice to come and do, and in my own recovery it is very important to me that I have obligated myself to these men, and to that system out there because the only difference between myself and ninety percent of those prisoners that are out there…I never ran over anybody, I never got that DUI, never went to prison. But I know how those men feel at that Utah State Prison because in my alcoholism I was trapped in a prison inside myself, and those prisoners can all relate to that. Those prisoners can relate to being confined 24 hours a day, seven days a week inside yourself. Being able to express my experience, my strength and my hope to the prisoners out there…they all say, cause they all hug me and treat me like their brother…that it’s helping every one of them, but I know for a fact what it’s done for me. I didn’t chose it, my higher power did, and I can actually speak to those prisoners through my higher power.”

-Pine J

Carrying the Message: My name is Sean H. and I’m an inmate at Utah State Prison. I’m an alcoholic/ addict. I’m a resident of the conquest program in the prison due to my charges which are possession of heroin and attempted possession of heroin. I have served in other parts of the prison and in most places in prison you are lucky to get 1 or 2 twelve step meetings a month. Where I am, I’m blessed to get 14 twelve-step meetings per week. The folks who bring the meetings to us are absolute heroes. They bring us the hope & strength I needed. When I got back to prison a year ago, I was in the worst shape of my using life. This relapse was my worst. Slowly as each meeting passed I started to find hope. After a few months my great friend Pine started coming in and words cannot express all I have learned from him. Somehow what he said clicked and everything changed. I went from not having hope for a sober future, to having solid plans and a way to achieve these goals sober, one step at a time. Thanks to Pine and Kristin with the Bridging the Gap Program, I can and will make it to an AA meeting the day I go home, and when I leave this place this time, I can make it my last. One step at a time, one day at a time. Respectfully Sean H.

For a time I worked over on the Big Island of Hawaii. At the time I was not active in the program, after some time out I decided I needed a meeting.   After calling a local AA number I was told to drive out to Old Airport Park in Kona.  The directions from there were unique, park where you see some other cars, kick off your shoes and head to the beach!  Our noon meeting was located on a beautiful beach in paradise. One thing right off the bat that I noticed, my higher power seemed much closer than usual.  

-Trip

A person who performs a service willingly, especially helping other people and without pay. Salt Lake City AA Central Office is open 6 days a week – Monday thru Saturday. Each day a Volunteer Coordinator arrives at 10:00am to open the door and turn on the lights. At this time, there is a different Coordinator for each day – no one person is doing double duty. On most days additional volunteers offer their time in hour by hour increments, for example, 10:00am to noon, 3:00pm to 5:00pm, etc. As the volunteers gather, an informal AA meeting inevitably takes place. If you are in the neighborhood, please join us. Each of the Volunteer Coordinators is responsible for assuring the normal office tasks (general cleaning, trash removal, etc., etc.) are attended to. We want our group members who visit us to feel welcome and comfortable….. As …contributions are received from our groups, the coordinators enter them into our accounting system. The most important tasks facing the Volunteer Coordinators and the many part-time volunteers are the sales of literature published by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. and AA Grapevine Inc., and the sale of coins/tokens celebrating significant periods of sobriety. As we do with our contributions, when a sale is made the volunteers enter the transaction into our accounting system. When the inventory gets low on any of the items mentioned above, the Volunteer Coordinator(s) notify the appropriate Committee Chairperson, for example our Salt Lake AA Central Office Literature Chairperson, of the shortage. Of equal value, or even more important, is answering the telephone calls made to Salt Lake City AA Central Office. A majority of the calls are from members of the many anonymous groups seeking information concerning meeting times and meeting locations. Occasionally we get that life changing call from the still suffering person that just needs to talk to someone willing to listen. Thank God we have volunteers willing to take the time to perform this life saving service. If you are reading this and you would like to become a volunteer, have we got a deal for you!!! Please call our Volunteer Chairperson (Tuesday, 10:00am to 5:00pm at 801-484-7671) or e-mail volunteer@saltlakeaa.org.

Thank You – Jim C., Chris, Mel, Rusty, Bob, Kristen, Mike, Sandy, John, KB, Clark, Hank, Willy, Jim S., Joel, Charlie, Ben, Lorraine, Tripp, Shurone and Frances.

My name is Jacob, and I’m an alcoholic. I am 22 years old and this is my second time in prison. I get back out in a few days, and at this time in my life I can’t even express how grateful I am that there will be an AA meeting to go to when I get out. Drugs are a hug part of my story. I started using marijuana when I was 12 and alcohol followed soon after. Since that time, I have tried every drug I can think of and done just about everything you can think of. I caught my first felony at 15, my first charge ever at 12. I was put in States Custody as a kid. I’ve been in proctor homes, sober livings, and half way houses, on parole and probation. When they say jails, institutions and death, I pull 2 out of 3 of those. I say this because I want people to know that they are not alone. I always thought I was alone and this disease will allow me to feel alone in a room full of people. Alcohol and drugs used to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. Today it does not and I am grateful for that. My sobriety date is June 1st, 2017. My release date is August 1st, 2017. You are not alone! -Jacob

When I was ten years of age, I was given a glass of whiskey and drank it straight down. It burnt and took my breath. Throughout my drinking years I did not touch whiskey again. At sixteen, I had my first experience of getting drunk. I used to work for a bottling company where my job was to put labels on bottles. I knocked off work one lunch time and proceeded to join next door’s bottle department for drinks. To this day, I cannot remember getting home. From the age of seventeen, when I met the man of my dreams (or so I thought), until I was twenty five, a night life of social drinking and the birth of my daughter in kept me out of danger of alcoholic drinking. At the age of twenty five, we moved and I got a job as a barmaid full time. Work was hard and drinks were free behind the bar providing you didn’t get caught. I then started to show the consequences of my heavy drinking, the work, my housework, being a mother, my social life. I was admitted to the Melbourne Clinic with the DTs (delirium tremens) and hallucinations. I spent two weeks there and was discharged on medication. Back at my doctor’s I was told to go to AA, I said, “No, I’m not an alcoholic”. I then spent from the next seven years being a top-up drunk, bender drinker, social drinker, drying-out on the wagon, then back to alcohol. I introduced myself to the morning drink. Beautiful food was bought for the fridge and my daughter and I ended up eating baked beans. Housework was neglected, I decided all my friends were “full of bullshit”. I was stealing money from the hotel when working part-time to support my drinking habit. My great aunt had died and an inheritance from her of $20,000, was blown in six months on so-called friends, alcohol and good times. Blackouts were now coming, thick and fast. and my girlfriend, suggested I do something so I said, “I will try AA”. Eventually, I walked alone into an AA meeting. “Keep an open mind” said one member to me. I saw the word “God” up on the Serenity Prayer and freaked. I had been brought up with a God of fear. I read the First Step and I couldn’t accept it. I paraded around the floor when it was my turn to speak, hammed up my story, lied, and all that time I was hurting inside. I still had one foot in AA and one in the pub. So I chose the pub. I only lasted three months. I ended up in a psychiatric home again with the DTs and hallucinations. My hair looked like straw, my teeth became yellow, my eyes were bloodshot and yellow, there was weight gain, no changing clothes for days, neglecting my daughter. I was always the last to arrive at the school with my daughter, always the last to collect her after school. Then I discovered the yellow wallet that AA had given me with their telephone number in it, I rang the office. I gave the woman who answered a cock and bull story then broke down over a wine and soda beside me. She said those magic words “Come on Friday to the meeting”. I sweated, shook for two days and then walked through the AA doors. My hand was shaken, there were no fingers pointed at me. I “shared my experiences” with a twisted mouth and bent arms which have all now gone. After nine months of sobriety I found spirituality and my Higher Power whom I choose to call God. I have been three years sober now. I read the Big Book and the 24 Hour a Day book, pray every night for the sick alcoholic friends in the fellowship and family. I love the Steps and Traditions. I thank the founders of AA, Dr Bob and Bill W., for my life and the most important of all: meetings, meetings, meetings. My primary purpose is to help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety. I thank God for my life today. I am marrying a ten-year sober, beautiful man whom I love dearly. Thank you AA. Without you none of this would have been possible.

–Anonymous, Australia

http://www.aa.org.au/new-to-aa/personal-stories-started-at-ten.php