Author: webservant

In April 2015 I woke up in a holding cell in the county jail. Only then did I realize that I was in the relapse that had been controlling my life for over two years. I was told that my bail was one million dollars. I knew I was in a lot of trouble!! The first couple of months of jail I was held in administrative segregation, where all I could do was read, pray and have conversation with one other inmate. It was “hard time”. I realized how much I wanted the sobriety that I’d thrown away and decided to start working the 12 steps again. I turned to God with full purpose of heart. There were three meetings a week and a workshop service available and I attended them all with an attitude of humility and desire. I was miraculously provided with a sponsor and over the course of the next 18 months I thoroughly worked and lived the principles of recovery. As I did so I felt the power of God come into my life and heart. In November of 2016 I came to prison. As I sat in a cell receiving an orientation, wondering what my fate would be, and praying for help, I was given a strong moment of serenity where my higher power let me know that wherever I went in the system, and however long I had to be here, he would be with and take care of me. I’ve been in the conquest program of the prison since December, 2016. We have 13 twelve step meetings available per week and some great volunteers from the street who make them all possible. I consider our Sunday night big book study my home group. The street volunteer Pine is a great blessing to us. His story is nothing short of a motivational miracle and provides all of us with hope! As I’ve given myself to the 12-steps of A. A. over the last 28 months of my life I’ve felt a tangible sense of peace come into my heart and mind. I know it works! Thanks for letting me share… Jay D.

Sobriety and mindfulness are cathartic and healing. I can just breathe and watch the universe unfold. This has healed any illness I have had. Mindfulness is a blessing in my sobriety. According to Jon Kabat Zen the word mindfulness is derived from medicine. As Saki Santorelli said regarding healing thyself: “Look at the bandaged spot, and let the light in; the light comes not from without but from within.” The two requirements of Step Three in the Big Book are that no human power can relieve my alcoholism, and I am not God. If I just do the footwork and Let Go & Let God, I can pay attention, not perseverate, not beat up on myself, or even think. I had three alcoholic grandparents and two functional alcoholic parents who were obsessive-compulsive atheist controllers. I was taught to be an alcoholic. By 1997 I had found a Higher Power within and met my husband at a prayer circle group at a church but was a social drinker not bitten by the disease yet. I had knocked off my drinking in my twenties and didn’t realize until 2004 that I had an allergy to alcohol; it makes me mentally ill, and I started to crave it. Working the steps in the AA Program eight times and step work in Al anon three times and finally adult child step work has been healing me like the un-peeling of layers of an onion. Now I can finally rest with my Higher Power and watch the show. As the “Just for Today” Al anon Bookmark comments: “Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not adjust myself to my own desires. I can take my “luck” as it comes, and fit myself to it.” I am walking with my Higher Power. As the AA 10th Step Promises State: “And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone—-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If temped, we recoil from it as from a hot flame.” As the 11th Step States on page 87 of the Big Book: “We usually conclude the period of meditation with a prayer that we be shown all through the day what our next step is to be, that we be given whatever we need to take care of such problems.” This is how I came to believe, pay attention, and heal today.

Patricia N.

When I came to Alcoholics Anonymous, I was completely naive to the ways of the program and was very broken by alcohol. I knew of AA and thought, I have no where else to go, these folks know more than I do about Alcohol…it’s in the name. I attended my first Quarterly business meeting after being in and out of the program for 6 months. During that 6 months, I heard about service and I was ready to listen. I took up a coffee position and was so nervous I was going to screw it up, I barely slept the night before. I was taking the whole thing very seriously. So at the first business meeting, I wanted to observe and find out how the “real” business of how the group functioned and how it worked was important to me. I also wanted to figure out who was “in charge”. Like I said, I was still new. I watched, I listened, I learned and found out slowly about the different long-term service positions and how they worked together. I continued to do coffee and eventually was brave enough to step up to a chairperson position. Again, no sleep the night before and worried I would make a mistake. People are counting on me and this is life or death…very serious. After awhile, I settled down and the man who kept the group phone list named Ed, was moving away. I offered to help maintain the list. Turns out the man was the secretary of the group and I got elected to secretary of the Wake Up Call in Park City the very next business meeting. People actually voted me in! I was happy to be of service and yet, had no clue what I was doing. “Don’t they have training for this sort of thing – I’m totally unqualified!!!” My next thought was at the other end of the spectrum: “Stand back and let me show you all how this meeting should be run!”. Yes, I know…keep coming back. After many reassurances from my sponsor and the elder statesman, I’ve relaxed A LOT. I turned to the tribal knowledge of the group, explored AA literature on how to run a group and approached the task with a heightened sense of responsibility – instead of panic or pride. Today, I’ve been conducting and chairing the quarterly business meetings, spontaneous group conscious meetings and documenting the Wake Up Call business for almost two years. I had come from a place of no knowledge, fear, more fear and it’s good friend, anxiety… to one of curiosity, willingness and openness to suggestion. The group consciousness is a powerful force and one I am proud and honored to call to order as often as needed with the bang of a gavel.  

-Anne A

-The following is taken from a recorded conversation with Pine J about his volunteer work out at the Utah State Prison.

“In volunteering at the Utah State Prison, the reason that it’s been so rewarding to my sobriety is because men that are in prison now are coming into our classes, into our AA class, and not only reading the big book, but they read the big book on a daily and on a weekly basis. Because of our meetings, we have explained to them that all it takes, when they go back to their pods, is for them and a couple more guys to start sharing with each other about their experience, strengths and hopes. Once the prisoners started doing that, in our classes we would give them the choice to either share as they read or at the end of class. The AA program out there is…grows every week, as prisoners find out about it, it has become something that they even miss their softball practice to come and do, and in my own recovery it is very important to me that I have obligated myself to these men, and to that system out there because the only difference between myself and ninety percent of those prisoners that are out there…I never ran over anybody, I never got that DUI, never went to prison. But I know how those men feel at that Utah State Prison because in my alcoholism I was trapped in a prison inside myself, and those prisoners can all relate to that. Those prisoners can relate to being confined 24 hours a day, seven days a week inside yourself. Being able to express my experience, my strength and my hope to the prisoners out there…they all say, cause they all hug me and treat me like their brother…that it’s helping every one of them, but I know for a fact what it’s done for me. I didn’t chose it, my higher power did, and I can actually speak to those prisoners through my higher power.”

-Pine J

Carrying the Message: My name is Sean H. and I’m an inmate at Utah State Prison. I’m an alcoholic/ addict. I’m a resident of the conquest program in the prison due to my charges which are possession of heroin and attempted possession of heroin. I have served in other parts of the prison and in most places in prison you are lucky to get 1 or 2 twelve step meetings a month. Where I am, I’m blessed to get 14 twelve-step meetings per week. The folks who bring the meetings to us are absolute heroes. They bring us the hope & strength I needed. When I got back to prison a year ago, I was in the worst shape of my using life. This relapse was my worst. Slowly as each meeting passed I started to find hope. After a few months my great friend Pine started coming in and words cannot express all I have learned from him. Somehow what he said clicked and everything changed. I went from not having hope for a sober future, to having solid plans and a way to achieve these goals sober, one step at a time. Thanks to Pine and Kristin with the Bridging the Gap Program, I can and will make it to an AA meeting the day I go home, and when I leave this place this time, I can make it my last. One step at a time, one day at a time. Respectfully Sean H.

For a time I worked over on the Big Island of Hawaii. At the time I was not active in the program, after some time out I decided I needed a meeting.   After calling a local AA number I was told to drive out to Old Airport Park in Kona.  The directions from there were unique, park where you see some other cars, kick off your shoes and head to the beach!  Our noon meeting was located on a beautiful beach in paradise. One thing right off the bat that I noticed, my higher power seemed much closer than usual.  

-Trip

A person who performs a service willingly, especially helping other people and without pay. Salt Lake City AA Central Office is open 6 days a week – Monday thru Saturday. Each day a Volunteer Coordinator arrives at 10:00am to open the door and turn on the lights. At this time, there is a different Coordinator for each day – no one person is doing double duty. On most days additional volunteers offer their time in hour by hour increments, for example, 10:00am to noon, 3:00pm to 5:00pm, etc. As the volunteers gather, an informal AA meeting inevitably takes place. If you are in the neighborhood, please join us. Each of the Volunteer Coordinators is responsible for assuring the normal office tasks (general cleaning, trash removal, etc., etc.) are attended to. We want our group members who visit us to feel welcome and comfortable….. As …contributions are received from our groups, the coordinators enter them into our accounting system. The most important tasks facing the Volunteer Coordinators and the many part-time volunteers are the sales of literature published by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. and AA Grapevine Inc., and the sale of coins/tokens celebrating significant periods of sobriety. As we do with our contributions, when a sale is made the volunteers enter the transaction into our accounting system. When the inventory gets low on any of the items mentioned above, the Volunteer Coordinator(s) notify the appropriate Committee Chairperson, for example our Salt Lake AA Central Office Literature Chairperson, of the shortage. Of equal value, or even more important, is answering the telephone calls made to Salt Lake City AA Central Office. A majority of the calls are from members of the many anonymous groups seeking information concerning meeting times and meeting locations. Occasionally we get that life changing call from the still suffering person that just needs to talk to someone willing to listen. Thank God we have volunteers willing to take the time to perform this life saving service. If you are reading this and you would like to become a volunteer, have we got a deal for you!!! Please call our Volunteer Chairperson (Tuesday, 10:00am to 5:00pm at 801-484-7671) or e-mail volunteer@saltlakeaa.org.

Thank You – Jim C., Chris, Mel, Rusty, Bob, Kristen, Mike, Sandy, John, KB, Clark, Hank, Willy, Jim S., Joel, Charlie, Ben, Lorraine, Tripp, Shurone and Frances.

My name is Jacob, and I’m an alcoholic. I am 22 years old and this is my second time in prison. I get back out in a few days, and at this time in my life I can’t even express how grateful I am that there will be an AA meeting to go to when I get out. Drugs are a hug part of my story. I started using marijuana when I was 12 and alcohol followed soon after. Since that time, I have tried every drug I can think of and done just about everything you can think of. I caught my first felony at 15, my first charge ever at 12. I was put in States Custody as a kid. I’ve been in proctor homes, sober livings, and half way houses, on parole and probation. When they say jails, institutions and death, I pull 2 out of 3 of those. I say this because I want people to know that they are not alone. I always thought I was alone and this disease will allow me to feel alone in a room full of people. Alcohol and drugs used to make me feel like I wasn’t alone. Today it does not and I am grateful for that. My sobriety date is June 1st, 2017. My release date is August 1st, 2017. You are not alone! -Jacob