Author: webservant

“Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films. Al-Anon Addition: We need guard with special care the anonymity of all A.A. members.”

When discussing their personal recovery with the media, members who are identified by their full names — such as the case of those who are already well known in the media — they should not also identify the specific name of their 12 step recovery group.

If members wish to discuss the benefits of membership in a specific 12 step group, such as Al-Anon or Alcoholics Anonymous, they then should not identify themselves except by first name only.

Why?

Many recovering members have the attitude “When I was drinking, everybody knew I was the town drunk, why should I hide my identity now that I am recovering?”

The answer is, for the good of the fellowship. The example is given of a famous athlete or television personality — a role model for youth — who gets into recovery and announces to the entire world that A.A. has saved his life. What happens if that person relapses? The kids say, “Well, so much for A.A.!”

Through my years in AA I have seen what promotion has done to AA as a whole, it has allowed outsiders to change our message, so many changes that insiders now hear a different message.

Slowly we have replaced “we get better” with “things get better,” we have allowed outside institutions to tell us that it does not matter which 12 step program you go to they are all the same. I got to watch a drug addict die at an AA meeting because alcoholics couldn’t relate to what he was trying to say, they didn’t understand and she died from withdrawal at an AA meeting.

By trying to save the world we are not adhering to our singleness of purpose — one AA helping another AA. Our hearts are in the right place, but as a whole we are doing more harm than good. AA’s early success rate was around 75 percent. Today’s rate has dropped drastically from all the promotion.

On an individual level AA’s seem to forget that we are responsible for being the attractions, by changing our appearance, how we communicate, dress, and conduct ourselves in and out of the rooms of AA. That’s part of carrying the message also, to let people see the difference that this design for living we were given has worked in our life.

When people SEE the four changes in our life — mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual — they are attracted. They need no promotion. This is a program for people who want it. Let’s not let others tell us what they think we are about. Let’s just be ready when the suffering alcoholic is ready to open the door and show him what we are.

Alethea

“There is a direct linkage among self-examination, meditation, and prayer. Taken separately, these practices can bring much relief and benefit.  But when they are logically related and interwoven, the result is an unshakable foundation for life.”

What an incredible promise! This program is full of promises, each step has its own.

When I was first introduced to the steps there seemed to be no flow to them at all. But I had gotten to the point that I knew that if I didn’t jump in and do the rest of the steps that I was going to drink again. I stopped fighting, I stopped struggling.  I surrendered to the reality that this disease was far more powerful than I and that it (alcohol) controlled me, not the other way around.

The actual practice of meditation started when my sponsor suggested that I read pages 86 – 88 in the Big Book. Some quiet time in the morning to start the day, pausing throughout the day, then reflecting on the day in the evening.  This simple discipline was all I could do and not with much regularity!. It was enough to keep the ball rolling. It still amazes me that these steps seem to meet us where we’re at. No matter how much the fog has lifted the spiritual principles gleamed from the utilization of these steps has a powerful effect on us.

I found a couple AA meetings that focused on step eleven. They actually did a 20 minute silent meditation which I found very hard to sit through at first! One meeting gave a very simple technique of focusing on your breath and counting them. This simple focus helped quite my mind from all of its chatter, kind of! I heard it said that if my thoughts wonder a thousand times and I bring them back to my focus point a thousand and one that it was a successful meditation. That helped me realize that I don’t have to ‘do it perfectly’ to gain some benefit.

We’ve all heard that old saying, “Be still and know that I am God.” I began to truly experience Its presence in the stillness of meditation. It was an opening, a clearing of a channel.  At first I was convinced that there wasn’t a God, or at least not one that cared about us as individuals.  Why all the suffering and tragedy in events where it seems like it’s circumstances beyond human control?

What I’ve come to understand is that even that so called ‘suffering’ can be used for good. Every wrecked car, ruined relationship, every time I was sent to jail got me closer to the point of surrendering to that Power Greater than myself.  What I thought were my greatest advances weren’t! And what I thought were my greatest defeats were in fact some of the greatest advances. I do not know what’s best for me! I do trust the process of the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I’ve not only experienced miracles in my own life but I literally see the dead rising and the blind seeing. Those of us that are sober members of this Fellowship are living miracles, living proof that this thing really does work, when it’s worked!

Today I do feel like I belong, I am a part of this amazing Fellowship.  I no longer live in a completely hostile world. I have begun to see that truth, justice, and love are real and eternal things in life. I’m no longer deeply disturbed by all the seeming evidence to the contrary that surrounds me in purely human affairs. When I turn to Him all is well.

~ The New Yorker Group
48 W Market St , Salt Lake City
Fridays 6:40am

My name is TC, I was born in Vietnam 01/01/1983. My reason for writing my story is to share my experience, strength, and hope. I’ll be jumping from one subject to another as I reveal to you my journey. Don’t take anything personal if I say something that offends your religion or beliefs. Just remember that we do have the same disease despite our differences.

I came with my mother from Vietnam to Utah in 1993. On the airplane I asked her 100 times why are we leaving and why can’t the family come with us? She told me that we’re going to a place where I can have a better future and she promised me that our family will come to live with us one day. Well the promise of that one day never came and little did she know about my future of being a crack head and a tweaker from hell. Growing up without any of my family around me made it even easier for me to isolate myself in later years because I have always been a loner. At 13 I met some friends and through them I came in contact with beer, cigarettes, and marijuana. Later on I joined a Vietnamese gang and unfortunately they were all crack heads. We should have called ourselves the “crack head gang” that’s how bad it was. I also had some meth but was not hooked yet.

At 18 I was arrested for arson, and did three years. Got out, but got back with my girl and was right back on meds again. People often speak greatly of this thing called spirit or soul within us that never dies. I also wonder where the hell my spirit was when I was getting high. What kind of spirit stay up all night fixing a bike or cut grass at 4 am?

One day my friend, my drug dealer, asked me if I wanted to make some money. I expected it to be something illegal, instead he handed me a sheet of paper telling me that he was court ordered to go to AA meetings and that he would hook me up with the 20 sack if I went to the meetings for him. He also convinced me that to white people all Asians look alike so no one would ever know. So I found myself sitting in my very first meeting at Fellowship Hall. After being there I felt like these people needed to get a life. What made it worse was when guys tried to hold my hand to pray at the end.

After getting paid to go to these meetings I heard lots of stories and I thought to myself what a bunch of spoiled brats that get together and talk about how much they drank, and how much they smoked. But for me I have to come to these meetings just so my dealer would get me high. Even though people were pouring their hearts in the meeting my heart and ears were still hard and I couldn’t relate at all.

I thank God later in life for having my dealer pay me to go to meetings. One time while tweaking in my backyard two missionaries came to tell me that God loves me and he knows how many hairs I have on my head. I asked them, “How much do you get paid to do this?” I admired their selfless act for their God.  I told them to keep coming back to visit with me. Even though I no longer believed in Mormonism, I will always thank God for sending those missionaries to plant the seed in my heart which motivated me to seek for truth and at last find the true living God of grace, full of mercy and abundant in love.  If God never took me out of Vietnam for sure I would have become a Buddhist or some type of legalism where men are trying to earn heaven by doing good works in keeping the law. I used to kneel for hours in front of the statue until my knees went numb just to show my devotion. Not until I had a son of my own that I truly understood the relationship between me and God. I don’t want my son to go through some crazy ritual in order to come to me and neither did God.

After knowing and believing in the existence of God I got a little taste of true sobriety before I relapsed. I cut off all my old friends but didn’t make new ones. I was sober but still isolated. I thought about A.A. but I asked myself, “Why do I need meetings?” What can men teach me that God can’t? Of course I was wrong about that because obviously God does work through people. I went to church each Sunday, shaking hands and had some superficial conversations then went home. Without the support of true Fellowship of any kind I soon relapsed. I expected God to perform some magical sign to take away my addiction. I asked pastors to pray for me, I read spiritual books, I prayed to God for help. But there was one thing I couldn’t do, and that is letting the pipe go or say no when it came my way.

It’s funny how I used to blame everything on God as though he made me chase after the dope or something. It was not until I completely let go and checked myself in the rescue mission drug treatment program that I truly understood that it was not God abandoning me or that he didn’t hear my prayers. It is because I never gave him a chance because my days and nights were spent doing or getting drugs. He gave me a free will so of course he can’t come down from heaven to slap the pipe out of my mouth or take the bottle away. But ever since I let go I witnessed miracles in my life. If you ever feel like God has forsaken you and your prayers are in vain, cheer up. It’s not true!

God is waiting for you to let go of whatever it is that you are doing and give him some room to work in your life. Let go for one hour one day or whatever you can. I have learned that gratitude is the key to sobriety and I can’t make it alone. Just like the African buffalo in order to survive they must stand together with their horns facing the enemy, which are the lions. Lions sleep for only hours but the buffalo only sleep minutes at a time and they don’t all sleep once. Some sleep and some watch always staying alert. Some of us are sleeping and some of us are praying for each other. Some of us do the 12 steps and some of us are slacking but we must stick together if we want to live, at least soberly. I encourage you to drop your pride, get a sponsor, and get into service work because even if you are on the right track you will get run over if you only sit there. May God bless you in your journey!

~ T.C. – Salt Lake City

Concept 10 – Every service responsibility should be matched by an equal service authority – the scope of such authority to be always well defined whether by tradition, by resolution, by specific job description or by appropriate charters and bylaws.

Our service structure cannot function effectively and harmoniously unless, at every level, each operational responsibility is matched by a corresponding authority to discharge it. This requires that authority must be delegated at every level – and that the responsibility and authority of every entity are well defined and clearly understood.

Let’s begin with the group.  Concept I states the “final responsibility and ultimate authority” resides with the A.A. groups, and they delegate this authority to the Conference (Concept II). The detail of which topics for discussion or items of concern are forwarded to the Conference by the Groups via the GSR is discussed at our District meetings and at our Area Assemblies.

The Conference, in turn, delegates to the General Service Board the authority to manage A.A.’s affairs (Concept III) in its behalf. The detail of what topics and /or items are forwarded by the Conference to the General Service Board are reported to the Fellowship via a printed Final Report distributed to the Fellowship following the annual meeting of the General Service Conference.

The General Service Board is in authority over its subsidiary operating conditions – A.A. World Services, Inc. and the A.A. Grapevine Inc.  The General Service Board delegates to the directors of those corporations the authority necessary to run these service entities.

The directors of AAWS and the AA Grapevine are in authority over the executives of these corporations, but delegate to these officers the authority needed to carry out their administrative responsibilities.

And lastly, the executives of AAWS and the AA Grapevine delegate to the General Service Office and Grapevine staff members and other employees the authority necessary to carry out their important service jobs.

The benefit to the Fellowship of this delegation of responsibility and authority is immense.

Many of our members receive their monthly edition of the AA Grapevine with news and stories of and by our members. The Grapevine also provides books, CD’s, and an abundance of informative materials used by our members on their journey.

Our service entities receive service materials (pamphlets, guidelines, displays, etc.) vital to their efforts to carry the A.A. message to the still suffering alcoholic.

Our groups have access to the books, pamphlets, displays, wallet cards, etc., etc. used in our scheduled meetings to achieve our primary purpose as defined by Tradition 5.

I hope this brief look at Concept 10 has been helpful. I am forever grateful for the experience I have enjoyed in my service to the Fellowship. I know I’ve been guided by the hand of God through the application of these Twelve Concepts for World Service in my endeavors. And I would like to say Thank You for allowing me to share a little of what I’ve learned in the process.

Mike O.
Past Delegate, Panel 55, Area 69 – State of Utah

“Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the A.A. name ought never be drawn into public controversy.”

What stood out for me about Tradition 10 is that Bill W. is writing about lessons learned from the Washingtonians.  They were a group that had a large membership devoted to helping alcoholics.  However, the Washingtonians were also involved with prohibition and the abolition of slavery.  These issues created discord among the members which lead to the Washingtonians demise.

Since I have been in AA, I have heard people say “that is an outside issue”.  Here in Utah the topic most likely is about the dominate religion in the state.  I was chairing a meeting in December and I made disparaging remarks about Christmas.  After my share, someone else spoke up about their belief system which made me aware that I may have offended him.  What if that was a newcomer would he or she have stayed?

What about holding a meeting in a place where there are signs promoting one particular politician?  What if an AA member is wearing clothing that promotes various politicians?  I was having a conversation with my sponsor just before an AA meeting about politics and he suggested that we stop the discussion because he was aware that there was someone there who disagrees with his views.

I remember an incident at a spiritual retreat that I was attending.  A group of us went out for ice cream.  I was talking with a friend who was a democrat.  He was remarking about how the President at that time was bad for the country and should be removed.  Well there was someone at the table who strongly disagreed with what he was saying and abruptly got up and left the table.

The big question for me is what is an outside issue?  This brings me back to AA’s Primary Purpose to help the suffering alcoholic.  I believe that anything that does not help the suffering alcoholic is an outside issue.  For example, a discussion of religion and politics does not help the suffering alcoholic.

~ Walter C.
Area 69 Panel 61
Alternate Delegate

“Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.”

Earlier in my recovery I was told that Steps 10, 11, and 12 where the ‘maintenance steps”. I’ve come to understand that they really are the “acceleration steps”. I fumbled around with 1 through 9 learning how to implement the spiritual principles behind them. Now I get to implement all those principles in all areas of my life always and in all ways.

One of the biggest concepts that I have received from continually taking my inventory and continually practicing the principles of this program to the best of my ability is what it talks about in the 12 x 12. That is the “spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.”  When I first read that I could not comprehend it at all. When I was drinking I was not only the victim of the world, but I knew the entire universe was out to get me! Through working this program and some very good sponsorship I now know that you can’t hurt me, period! That doesn’t mean that I’m not going to be hurt, it just means that when my feelings are hurt I know full well that it’s me doing it to me. Which is good news because if it really was you I would be totally up a creek, no hope whatsoever. I’m not responsible for your actions, what I am responsible for is my reaction to your behavior. That I can do something about.

I used to think that when I got through the 12 steps I would never get angry, upset, fearful or disturbed. What planet would that be? Certainly not this one! What I have discovered is that I no longer get as insane over things. I’ve discovered that I can get angry at something or someone, pause before reacting and deal with the situation in a much calmer, civil manner. I can then look at my anger, discover the underling beliefs that I’m holding onto and heal them.  With the help of my Higher Power I can see and therefore experience life differently.

We are such blessed people to have gone through the things we’ve gone through. Not only to say that we’ve survived but that we have found a program, a way of life that really does work. It continues to amaze me that the spiritual principles of these steps have no limits. The only limits they have are the ones I put on them by my unexamined concepts and beliefs.  This step gives me another tool to look at every concept or belief that I still have that stands in the way of my usefulness to God and my fellows.

I remember when I first saw the 12 Steps of recovery. They were the most foreign sounding concepts I had ever heard. Today they are a way of life that brings me the joy, peace and happiness that I wanted from the very beginning. That’s what I wanted the alcohol and drugs to do for me, and at times they did bring a certain amount of happiness and joy. But it was always fleeting and shallow. What I have today is an unshakable foundation for life.

~ The New Yorker Group
48 W Market St , Salt Lake City
Fridays 6:40am

“Good service leaders, together with sound and appropriate methods of choosing them, are at all levels indispensable for our future functioning and safety. The primary world service leadership once exercised by the founders of A.A. must necessarily be assumed by the Trustees of the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous.”

Concept Nine is about the leadership of A.A. Some members of A.A. may think that since A.A. has a very different structure than other organizations there are no “leaders” in A.A. Nothing could be further from the truth! Leaders in A.A. are those who, through their actions and their example, inspire us to follow them. It is true that no one can lead if there is no one who will follow them.

In A.A. the service structure rests on the dedication and ability of the General Service Representatives – those people we choose to represent our groups as G.S.R.’s – then on the committee members and Delegates. These are the link between the group conscience and our world services.

At the General Service Conference the Delegates, acting as the effective voice of the group conscience, choose the General Service Trustees who form the General Service Board of Alcoholics Anonymous. This Board is entrusted with operational leadership and oversight of A.A. World Services and the Grapevine.

Where do these Trustees come from? The Areas choose the candidates for Regional Trustee and Trustee at Large and submit the names through their Delegates. Sometimes these nominees are chosen based on personal and professional accomplishments, but most often they are chosen based on their record of service within their groups, districts and areas. As GSR’s and Area Committee Members when we choose a nominee for Trustee we are participating directly in choosing the leadership of Alcoholics Anonymous!

What about those “Class A” trustees? These are non-alcoholics who volunteer to serve A.A. on our General Service Board. They, too, are nominated from within the fellowship. These nominations most frequently come from Area Delegates who have learned of their unique qualifications and willingness to serve. These are most often members of professions with whom A.A. cooperates (medical, legal, financial, or religious leaders) who have demonstrated their willingness to lend their time and talents to A.A.

Trustees serve for a limited term, as do all the trusted servants of Alcoholics Anonymous. Therefore, there is always a need for continuous action in providing our fellowship with good and effective leadership. Our future effectiveness depends upon developing ever-new generations of leadership. This spirit of rotation ensures that A.A. leadership will not become stagnant and will continue to reflect the true group conscience.

This is the bottom line – our leaders carry the effective conscience of the A.A. groups! It is our responsibility to provide them with the information and support that will enable the group conscience to be expressed throughout Alcoholics Anonymous.

Yours in service,

Mickey H.
Past Delegate, Panel 49, Utah Area 69

It was my first drunk that I found how I could fit in. I didn’t exactly like the way that I felt getting drunk at twelve years old; dumb and clumsy. But what I loved the most was that I was drinking with older kids who used to harass me and make fun of me for being younger, smaller and poor.

That’s how the addiction started for me. Of course I had fun and enjoyed partying like everyone else. But early on what I loved the most about drinking and partying was how it positioned me socially. Back then when I drank the girls that normally wouldn’t have anything to do with me were now suddenly flirting with me and treating me like one of the cool guys. The tough kids I wanted to be like were the sons of bikers. They would share their booze and drugs with me, give me rides in their muscle cars and bring me along for drinking induced illegal activities.

This type of drinking continued all throughout my teenage years and well in to my twenties. But eventually fitting in just wasn’t good enough for me anymore. My drinking started moving in to a completely different level. I found I got a lot of attention for being the crazy guy, the badass, the stud, or the lady killer. I wanted to be the Fonz of punk rock.

I was no longer satisfied with blending in with everyone else. I wanted to stand out by becoming a monster that no one would mess with. And I did just that. Mysteriousness, danger, street cred and status, all became the construct of my drunken identity. The hardcore punk legend in the making was taking place and all it took was for me to keep drinking. Because, when I drank I was dangerous, obnoxious, loud and crude and the fearless fighter. Every time I drank something inside of me would trigger an expectation that whatever I did would have to be that of legendary proportions. Yep, that’s how delusional drinking made me.

Early on my punk rock circle of friends gave me a nickname fitting enough for my Mediterranean and Irish lineage, and my lust for scrapping and chasing women. But this was all just a front I created in order to protect what I was really hiding – the real me.

After more than twenty years of living this destructive alcoholic life and creating a lot of heartache and pain, I was done. My drinking was out of control and I needed it to stop. I came to believe that I had no idea who I was anymore.

The one place I found unconditional acceptance was in an AA meeting in January 2010. After all the years of the drinking that which altered my perception of how I fit in the world, I didn’t need to qualify myself with any of you. It was in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous that the only thing I needed to have for qualification – was the desire to stop drinking. I knew my destructive behavior was primarily a symptom of my alcoholism and that when I drink I make very bad and dangerous decisions.

It took some time for me to really get comfortable in sobriety, so I gravitated to the recovering drunks who shared common interests as I. My first sponsor loved film and Rock ‘n’ Roll, which we would talk passionately about after meetings. I started bonding with other women and men in AA and becoming more focused on long term sobriety. The psychic change that is talked about in the Big Book was apparently working inside of me as I started caring about other people and their passions and desires.

I searched for over 30 years to be a part of something much greater than myself. In search of my own secret society, an underground of working class women and men who have a common bond that unites us all. I have found that in Alcoholics Anonymous. When I use to guard the hardcore punk scene so passionately from those less worthy of its existence, I have to share with others what makes me part of this fellowship. But I have to earn my AA chips to be able to do that. And that is exactly what I did.

I made my first AA meeting I went to my home group, and that’s also where I met my sponsor. I went to other meetings, and took suggestions from my sponsor once we started working the steps. I did a thorough 4^th and 5^th step, and completed working the steps. I’ve been working as a sponsor to other alcoholics since March 2011.

In the last two plus years of recovery I have learned to love and accept myself for not only who I am, but also for what I have survived to get to this point in my life. The rugged exterior has slowly cracked and crumbled away, revealing a man who has learned to love again, and to also accept love in return. As a result of working the steps, I have learned to forgive myself and also the persons, places and principles that I blamed for so much of my pain and anger.

Today I am free from the anger and resentments of my past. My life is much different now; peaceful and quiet. I work on a daily basis to maintain that freedom with a lot of help from the force in my life that keeps me sober, and also being grateful for the promises and rewards that I have today.

~ C.A. Salt Lake City