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The Twelve Traditions A Distillation of A.A. Experience (excerpt)

As newcomers, many of us say to ourselves, “Let the group officers worry about the Traditions. I’m just an average member. They’re rules for running groups, aren’t they? And everybody tells me, ‘There are no rules in A.A.’!” Then we look closer—and find that the Traditions are not rules—and they are not just for officers. They have deep meaning for each one of us, as the Twelve Steps do. Like the Steps, the Traditions were not figured out in advance, as courses of action against future problems. The action came first. Pioneer A.A. groups, with nothing to go on except the trial-and-error-and-try-again method, soon discovered: “Well, that way didn’t work. But the other one did. And this one works even better!” Both successes and failures were reported in letters to A.A. headquarters (eventually to become the General Service Office). In went these shared experiences of A.A.’s first ten years, and out came the Twelve Traditions. In 1946, then in the “long form,” they were published in the A.A. Grapevine. By 1950, they had been condensed to their present form and were adopted by A.A.’s First International Convention. “Our Traditions are a guide to better ways of working and living,” co-founder Bill W. said. “And they are to group survival what A.A.’s Twelve Steps are to each member’s sobriety and peace of mind…. Most individuals cannot recover unless there is a group. The group must survive or the individual will not.”…

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-literature/p-43-the-twelve-traditions-illustrated

Copyright © Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

(Excerpts) Published in 1941, this marks a high light in A.A. history. It sparked the first great surge of interest in A.A.

THREE MEN sat around the bed of an alcoholic patient in the psychopathic ward of Philadelphia General Hospital one afternoon a few weeks ago. The man in the bed, who was a complete stranger to them, had the drawn and slightly stupid look the inebriates get while being defogged after a bender. The only thing that was noteworthy about the callers, except for the obvious contrast between their well-groomed appearances and that of the patient, was the fact that each had been through the defogging process many times himself. They were members of Alcoholics Anonymous, a band of ex-problem drinkers who make an avocation of helping other alcoholics to beat the liquor habit.

THEY MADE it plain that if he actually wanted to stop drinking, they would leave their work or get up in the middle of the night to hurry to where he was. If he did not choose to call, that would be the end of it. The members of Alcoholics Anonymous do not pursue or coddle a malingering prospect, and they know the strange tricks of the alcoholic as a reformed swindler knows the art of bamboozling.

THERE IS no specious excuse for drinking which the troubleshooters of Alcoholics Anonymous have not heard or used themselves. When one of their prospects hands them a rationalization for getting soused, they match it with a half a dozen out of their own experience. This upsets him a little, and he gets defensive. He looks at their neat clothing and smoothly shaved faces and charges them with being goody-goodies who don’t know what it is to struggle with drink. They reply by relating their own stories: the double Scotches and brandies before breakfast; the vague feeling of discomfort which precedes a drinking bout; the awakening from a spree without being able to account for the actions of several days and the haunting fear that possibly they had run down someone with their automobiles.

MANY DOCTORS and staffs of institutions throughout the country now suggest Alcoholics Anonymous to their drinking patients. In some towns, the courts and probation officers cooperate with the local group. In a few city psychopathic divisions, the workers of Alcoholics Anonymous are accorded the same visiting privileges as staff members. Philadelphia General is one of these. Dr. John F. Stouffer, the chief psychiatrist, says: “the alcoholics we get here are mostly those who cannot afford private treatment, and this is by far the greatest thing we have ever been able to offer them. Even among those who occasionally land back in here again, we observe a profound change in personality. You would hardly recognize them” cont…

Copyright © Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

http://www.aa.org/assets/en_US/aa-literature/p-12-the-jack-alexander-article-about-aa

My Story
Becoming an alcoholic at age 13 was pretty easy, after all I did have a rough start in life. I didn’t have money or fancy clothes, I shopped at the Salvation Army and was always made fun of for being ugly or poor and I was never any good at sports. My father abandoned me, my sister and mother when I was 3 years old. I hated him for that and I always swore that I would never be like him because he was a drunk. I also had major resentment for my stepfather. Life was hard, and it was easy to become an alcoholic.

So my first drinking experience at age 13 was in a bar that my uncle owned in Idaho. My uncle was moving out and we were invited to help. After the move there was beer left in a keg so my uncle started pouring schooners for the grown-ups, then my uncle turned to my mom and said is it ok if skip has one? My mother told him yes and there is begun. Wow, wow and double wow! I was like a kid in a

candy store! I remember taking the beer and drinking it rather fast, then something great happened, all of the previous mentioned issues disappeared and even though I threw up, blacked out and got sick again, I drank more!

And that my dear friends characterized my drinking until my last drink in July 1975. After countless vain attempts to stop drinking I was allowed to attend a two week outpatient program the Navy offered. The only drawback was I had to attend AA everyday! My life was over because I knew that AA was the place where old drunks went to die. So like a man facing the gallows, I trudged into my first meeting. I noticed however that people weren’t dying, they were laughing and living. All I heard my first meeting was mumble mumble mumble, but I went back the next night and I heard a little more. By the fourth meeting I was taken to AA like a duck takes to water. From that point on I have not found it necessary to take another drink.

I have been through adversities including the death of my spouse of 51 years and thanks to the twelve steps and twelve traditions of AA, I remain sober. When I have drunk dreams, I consider it a spiritual awakening. Standing in front of the beer cooler looking at the different beers, I take it as a further acknowledgment of the fact that I am an alcoholic! (I don’t know normal drinkers that do that). I attend two meetings, the one I want to and the one I don’t want to! I don’t take sobriety for granted! I’m an old timer that believes the further I get away from my last drink, the closer I am to my next one! How did I get here? Through great sponsorship. You see I was never told to find a sponsor, I was told I am your sponsor! Thank God for Frenchy who sent me on a path of meetings, book studies, cleaning up after meetings, greeting at the door etc. I did those things because he did those things also when he was in my shoes. So, if I did those things then I had a chance at sobriety!

I cannot express enough the importance of sponsorship, one drunk talking to another! “If you don’t give this program away you won’t keep it” I’ve seen it time and time again with people who do not share it and they just disappear. At meetings when they call for an AA related announcement, I say my name is Skip and I’m alcoholic. This is for the newcomers that stood up and those that didn’t, if you are serious about your sobriety and do not have a sponsor, you come see me and we’re going to get you hooked up! Do not think you can do this on your own because trust me, it doesn’t work! This is a WE program! I believe there is nothing that accelerates a recovery more than working with others. You owe it to yourself to sponsor and not let the new person slip away.

–Skip L

My name is Joy D. and I am an alcoholic.

When I became a member of AA on February 28, 1986, it changed my life. The willingness to trust in a higher power greater than myself has led me to continue to move forward in a positive way.  The Big Book, Twelve Steps, and Principles of AA are all progressive tools in changing my life.  To attend meetings, working with others and service work are essential to a lifetime commitment of keeping balanced and staying sober.

On August 31, 2015, I moved to SLC to begin a new adventure.  Utah offers an abundance of beauty.  The AA meetings are awesome, and the people I have met are wonderful.

On January 12, 2016, I attended an AA Central Office meeting, and was asked to step in as the Outreach Chair.  I am very grateful for this position, as it will give me an opportunity to attend group meetings in different districts and inform them of Central Office’s function of service.  At this time, I have three volunteers willing to serve on the Outreach committee.  I look forward to meeting more volunteers at the March 8, 2016 Central Office meeting at 6:30 p.m.  Thank you for your service.

“LIFE”

LIFE IS LIKE A BREATH OF SPRING WHEN FLOWERS BEGIN TO BLOSSOM AND UNFOLD.  THE SURROUNDINGS MAN CANNOT MOLD.

TO FEEL, TOUCH, LISTEN, LOVE AND LEARN, ARE LESSONS I HAVE EARNED

LIFE IS ALL OF THIS TO ME, TO BE CONTENT AND FREE

Love is the answer, now what was the question?!!

On May 31, 2015, I met a man for coffee at Starbucks that I had met on-line.  Yes, on-line dating!  At my age?  What?  Well, why not?!!  I had just re-entered my Utah lifeon May 1st from living in California for a project the past year, commuting back and forth as I have for so many years.

That coffee date lasted for 2 1/2 hours. I listened to him tell me about his life. I had convinced myself to tell him about myself, and my sobriety. I was a little scared at first, and thought it would be a “deal breaker”.  The time flew by, and we were both surprised how long we had been there. We agreed to call and go out again.

Skeptical at first, I went home thinking that may not happen, but there was something about him that was different.  He texted later, called, we made a lunch date two days later, laughed and talked some more.  We continued to have lunch, dinner, take long rides and stop for sushi or BBQ or whatever we wanted to, kissed goodnight and made plans to meet for breakfast.  We held hands, we talked about our lives, we enjoyed the music, and the era we grew up in, our childhoods. We were thoughtful with each other.  We had fun!  We started cooking together, making green smoothies in the morning and swimming before work.  He was pleasantly surprised about my zest for swimming to stay active with my knee recuperation, and didn’t let on that he was a PRO until we were swimming with my grandsons much later on!!

I began to trust him and feel comfortable sharing my life, my heart and my space. He is a committed, selective, thoughtful, compassionate, strong and funny man.  He didn’t want a fly by night relationship.  He is present, has direct eye contact, and believes in connection with one other person.   He has attended many AA meetings with me and has fun with our friends.

On New Year’s Eve he asked me to marry him at the stroke of midnight, and of course I said “yes”, and I’m so excited!  We have met each other’s families and our kids have given their blessing!

I’m so grateful to God and my sobriety to be experiencing this at this time of my life.  I have become softer, and more loving to those around me.  I feel loved and cared for.  It was worth every single minute of whatever it was that brought us here; for our life experiences, for the tears and joy of a lifetime.

—Rebecca R

Home Groups – That Sufficient Substitute by Pete G.

On page 166 of the 75th Anniversary Reprint of the First Edition, our wonderful pioneers wrote of a sufficient substitute.  That substitute is the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.  I have come to understand that being a Home Group Member and participating in Home Group activities is precisely what they were referring to as a suitable substitute.

I do not believe we can talk about Home Groups enough.  On pages 166 and 167 of the 75th Anniversary Reprint of the First Edition, we are told of how and where to find these future friends and what to expect of them.  We find these ‘future fellows’ in our own community which is where the Home Group is totally effective.  Sobriety begins at the Home Group level.

The Big Book goes on to describe what to expect from a Home Group.  It promises that it is here that you will make lifelong friends, being bound to them with new and wonderful ties.  To have friends by which you escape disaster and trudge shoulder to shoulder on your common journey is a Promise fulfilled as a Home Group member.

My first Home Group was a humble group of alcoholics that gathered nightly in an isolated community.  There were literally one hundred or more bars, liquor stores, grocery stores and convenience stores between this group and the next closest meeting. The question whether to become a part of this common solution or try to face my alcoholism alone really was not that much of a decision. The Home Group is where I found strength to face my alcoholism began

The Program of Alcoholics Anonymous is not so much in the dry parchment of the thousands of pages of AA literature. That is simply a written reference.  My experience suggests that the Program that saved my life and made it worthwhile is alive in the members of a Home Group.

Each member invests themselves into and makes a draw from the group- much like a cell simultaneously supports and is supported by the host in which it is attached to.  Books, pamphlets or E-readers have never cried or laughed – especially in the same breath.  An hour of honesty and compassion can be exponentially more persistent and durable than an hour of

Home Groups provide living, breathing, crying, cursing, laughing, shouting, caring and humble examples of sober living.  Through the process of communion with others, the ‘suggestions’ become habits.  Like ancient languages, many vital principals simply never make it to printed form – being passed on through generations of alcoholics by word of mouth and example.

One of our most effective methods of teaching and helping other alcoholics involves living examples and sound guidance.  Home Groups provide guidance and examples to instill the Principles. Guidance on 13th Stepping  is followed up with supplying the newcomer with a contact list of suitable members who will not take advantage of them.  Guidance on Anonymity is reinforced by the examples of the Home Group members both inside and outside of the meeting rooms.  Guidance on Sober Living is reinforced with the example of service to others.

Guidance on Respect for others is reinforced by the example of turning off your cell phone.  Guidance on Supporting AA as a whole is reinforced by the example of purchasing AA literature with 7th Tradition contributions.  Guidance on Change is reinforced by the examples of Informed Group Consciences, Substantial Unanimity and Minority Appeal.

Just like becoming a member of AA, you are a Home Group Member if you say you are and begin to be of service to your Home Group.  Be a greeter, make the coffee, chair a meeting, clean up the meeting room and give of yourself so that others may live.

To adapt a common parable …’ Give an alcoholic a Big Book and keep them sober for an hour.  Teach them to live sober and they will be sober for a lifetime … and pass it on to others.’

Our Greatest Danger: Rigidity by Bob P.

This is my 18th General Service Conference — the first two as a director of the Grapevine and A.A.W.S., followed by four as a general service trustee. In 1972, I rotated out completely, only to be called back two years later as general manager of G.S.O., the service job I held until late 1984. Since the 1985 International Convention, of course, I have been senior adviser. This is also my last Conference, so this is an emotionally charged experience. I wish I had time to express my thanks to everyone to whom I am indebted for my sobriety and for the joyous life with which I have been blessed for the past nearly 25 years. But since this is obviously impossible, I will fall back on the Arab saying that Bill quoted in his last message, “I thank you for your lives.” For without your lives, I most certainly would have no life at all, much less the incredibly rich life I have enjoyed.

Let me offer my thoughts about A.A.’s future. I have no truck with those bleeding deacons who decry every change and view the state of the Fellowship with pessimism and alarm. On the contrary, from my nearly quarter-century’s perspective, I see A.A. as larger, healthier, more dynamic, faster growing, more global, more service-minded, more back-to-basics, and more spiritual — by far — than when I came through the doors of my first meeting in Greenwich, Connecticut, just one year after the famous [July 1960] Long Beach Convention. A.A. has flourished beyond the wildest dreams of founding members, though perhaps not of Bill himself, for he was truly visionary.

I echo those who feel that if this Fellowship ever falters or fails, it will not be because of any outside cause. No, it will not be because of treatment centers or professionals in the field, or non-Conference-approved literature, or young people, or the dually-addicted, or even the “druggies” trying to come to our closed meetings. If we stick close to our Traditions, Concepts, and Warranties, and if we keep an open mind and an open heart, we can deal with these and any other problems that we have or ever will have. If we ever falter and fail, it will be simply because of us. It will be because we can’t control our own egos or get along well enough with each other. It will be because we have too much fear and rigidity and not enough trust and common sense.

If you were to ask me what is the greatest danger facing A.A. today, I would have to answer: the growing rigidity — the increasing demand for absolute answers to nit-picking questions; pressure for G.S.O. to “enforce” our Traditions; screening alcoholics at closed meetings; prohibiting non-Conference-approved literature, i.e., “banning books”; laying more and more rules on groups and members. And in this trend toward rigidity, we are drifting farther and farther away from our co- founders. Bill, in particular, must be spinning in his grave, for he was perhaps the most permissive person I ever met. One of his favorite sayings was, “Every group has the right to be wrong.” He was maddeningly tolerant of his critics, and he had absolute faith that faults in A.A. were self-correcting And I believe this, too, so in the final analysis we’re not going to fall apart. We won’t falter or fail.

At the 1970 International Convention in Miami , I was in the audience on that Sunday morning when Bill made his brief last public appearance. He was too ill to take his scheduled part in any other convention event, but now, unannounced, on Sunday morning, he was wheeled up from the back of the stage in a wheelchair, attached with tubes to an oxygen tank. Wearing a ridiculous bright-orange, host committee blazer, he heaved his angular body to his feet and grasped the podium — and all pandemonium broke loose. I thought the thunderous applause and cheering would never stop, tears streaming down every cheek. Finally, in a firm voice, like his old self, Bill spoke a few gracious sentences about the huge crowd, the outpouring of love, and the many overseas members there, ending (as I remember) with these words:

“As I look over this crowd, I know that Alcoholics Anonymous will live a thousand years — if it is God’s will.”

Bob Pearson (1917-2008) was General Manager of the General Service Office from 1974 to 1984, and then served as Senior Advisor to the G.S.O. from 1985 until his retirement. His story is in the Big Book as “AA Taught Him to Handle Sobriety,” 3rd edit. (1976) pp. 554-561, 4th edit. (2001) pp. 553-559. During the 1986 General Service Conference, Bob gave a powerful and inspiring closing talk to the conference at the closing brunch on Saturday morning, April 26. It was an especially significant occasion, because he knew that he was going to retire early the next year, and that this would be his last General Service Conference. This excerpt was taken from that farewell speech, as published in the Conference’s final report:  The Thirty-Sixth Annual Meeting of the General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous 1986 (Roosevelt Hotel, New York City, April 20-26, 1986), Final Report.

Soon you’ll be back out there in the real world again. You’ll find it’s the same old world with the same old problems.

No matter where you live, you’ll still have your full share of those problems. Plus the one problem that can make all the others seem a lot bigger than they really are.

You’re not the only one who has come face to face with a drinking problem. There are about 2,000,000 of us who are not alone anymore.

Back in 1935, two men saw that alcohol had ruined their lives. They knew it would kill them if they didn’t stop drinking it. They wanted to stop, but couldn’t do it alone.

Their families and friends and doctors couldn’t do it for them. There was no personal loss or calamity big enough, no threat, treatment, or cure strong enough to make either of them stop drinking. Willpower didn’t work, either. The countless and sincere promises they had made to themselves were broken over and over again—over that first drink.

Each of the two men had been diagnosed as hopeless alcoholics. Worse yet, they saw themselves as hopeless. Until they saw each other.

By strange coincidence, they met and began to share their common experience with alcohol. They found they understood each other’s problems better than their families and friends and doctors did. This mutual understanding gave them the strength each desperately needed to pass up the first drink that had always paved the way to disaster.

Very gradually, their new strength restored their hope for life and a future. They survived to share their experience with other so-called hopeless alcoholics.

Today, Alcoholics Anonymous is made up of an estimated 2,000,000 men and women who once felt just as hopeless. We still meet regularly to share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. Our everyday lives are a lot better now than they used to be. And each of us once had to ask ourselves that question: “Where do I go from here?”

We live and meet everywhere now and at many different hours of the day. And we hope you’ll want to talk to one of us when you get out. We’ll be waiting, because somebody waited for each of us. And that made all the difference.

This is A.A. General Service Conference-approved literature. Look for “A.A.” or “Alcoholics Anonymous” as listed in the local telephone directory. If you cannot reach A.A. in your community, just write to A.A. General Service Office Box 459, Grand Central Station New York, NY 10163 www.aa.org