AA Behind Bars – James M_Sept 2018

It seems the longer I am here, the more I see that this environment I am in is because of me. Not consciously or by decisive choice, but by a whole bunch of actions I have done without much thought. You see, getting high was a choice. Yes! But, I really thought I wasn’t hurting anyone. And at that exact moment, I wasn’t. But our actions at one moment will come back on us in the future. When we are young acting out in ways like partying or anger outbursts is looked at like the boy needs help. But when a 50 year old acts out that way it’s against the law and totally against societies’ norm. So they put us in rehab, mental institutions, prisons or jails. And yet we have a problem dealing with life on life’s terms. Because of the traumas of childhood and the way we have learned to cope with life over the years growing up. Yes, some of us have made some good choices and turned our lives around. But after how many times of making the mistakes we have? We eventually grow tired of the consequences of the behaviors and learn to change some of them, but it takes real work to overcome the real problem, ourselves! I have been trying to escape myself for so long that I think I lost myself somewhere. Since coming to prison I have committed myself to a life of A.A. To live the 12 steps. To not just live them as I see fit but totally live them as they were meant to be. I really have had a spiritual awakening from these steps. My life has eternally changed for the better. I still have to take my inventory daily, and admit where I am wrong (which is constantly) but I am a work in progress. The point is I try and take 1 day at a time and focus on my program and rely on my higher power to guide me!!

– James M.

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